Beating Cancer

Cancer is a nasty, sneaky, frightening, sometimes painful illness to have – and you won’t hear me say anything different.

But you also won’t hear me say there’s nothing you can do about it. Because life is for living – fully – but one day at a time. And one day lived well can easily eclipse a year of living without taking notice, of who you are, who loves you, what you can do in this wonderful world of ours.

My personal journey through cancer began on a mild bright day, Tuesday 16th July 2001.

At 9.45am I performed a funeral ceremony. I can always ‘do the job’, no matter how ill I am – and I was very ill. I’d been in the emergency department at Monash Medical Centre in Melbourne since the early hours of the morning, with a ‘mass’ in my abdomen – yet they were in no hurry to check it out. Although I’d arrived in an ambulance, they transferred me into a wheel chair and sat me, right next to the front door which was opening and closing on the cold night air, without so much as another glance my way.

I had a commitment to perform this funeral service – and I’d been trying to reach the funeral director. Wouldn't you know that would be the only time he'd turned his mobile phone off to get some much needed rest. I'd hoped that he or someone else could pick up my paper work and do the service for me. But no luck.

So around 8am, after 3 or 4 hours sitting there in pain, I signed myself out – went home, dressed, put some make up on and did what I had to do.

A few months later I was speaking to the woman whose husband I’d buried that day and she was astounded to find out what dire straits I’d been in. I’d looked fine, as I always do until I’m right at death’s door. But while I’m able to put one foot in front of the other I do what I must and allow myself to collapse later.

On the way back from the service, I phoned my GPs surgery on my mobile and asked to see her urgently. She knew by now that I wasn’t one to panic, so she fitted me in. By 5pm, after a CT scan and a visit to a previously seen gastroenterologist, I had a diagnosis of cancer totally blocking my bowel. Wheeled into an ambulance – again , my car left behind in the street, I was on the way to life-saving emergency surgery.

The surgeon, on his second visit to the ward the following morning, while we waited and waited until an operating theatre was available, seemed concerned that perhaps I didn’t understand that what I had was cancer. Perhaps I didn’t seem worried enough? But I’d been ill for 12 or 18 months already. I wasn’t surprised at the diagnosis. And being so sick I could very plainly see the writing on the wall, feeling my body shutting down.

Most doctors aren’t all that used to their patients calling a spade a blooming shovel, so I was quite impressed that my surgeon only minimally reacted when, under such duress, I didn’t hold myself in check, but replied “At this point I don’t give a s--t what it is. I just want it out!’

Later, he was to say to me ‘Beryl, I can’t guarantee you’ll come off the operating table alive’. But you know, by that time I didn’t care. I couldn’t even raise any concern over leaving my five adult children and six grandchildren – and that was quite amazing, because I’ve always been the original ‘Earth Mother’.

But one thing I clearly remember from that first few days is thinking ‘I know how to do this’. My life has been one of great difficulty across many fronts, including the experience of several chronic illnesses, starting with juvenile arthritis at the age of 12.

So I have worked out what to do when faced with adversity. And I’ve learned a lot more during the past 20 years of helping others work through their own disasters.
My four children too, growing up with a mother who’s had several illnesses and operations, have developed their own ways of dealing with this.

So 'do it' I did. And today I'll give you the very first 'cancer poem' from that time, which is in my book 'Cancer - a Journey' (available through my website www.anotherlife.com.au).

Read the next instalment - what happened next - next week.

CANCER? HO HUM

Cancer? Hmmph!
What makes it think it can get at me
With its eating ways
Chomping on my bones
Or flesh, or sinews, or brain?

And that’s the thing, isn’t it?
The brain’s the thing
that plays the game
The thinking,
if you don’t watch out

Call it ‘The Big C’
And the game’s on
As if it can be bigger than I

But cancer –
Well now, that’s another thing
Cancer is a little thing
A thing that needs to eat
From others
Lest it die

And I’m going to make it die

10th September - early

Much love Beryl

Using your Transitions in life

 

Transitions - The Beginning

These blogs began even before I had cancer, as a series of enewsletters to reach out to others who could use the lessons I've learned as I've explored ideas - ways to make connections with others who might like what I like, want to move forward as I want to move forward.

Over the course of several years I’d met many such people. At conferences, seminars, workshops. Some presented by me, some by others. And in social or chance encounters.

I’d noticed a theme running through the conversations we’d had. A desire to live a fulfilled life. Generated by new ideas. Ideas capable of reflection, capable of something new, something nourishing to the mind, heart and spirit of each.

My mind is an ‘ideas generator’. It was telling me ‘Beryl, you have something to say. People often tell you that something which you’ve said to them, or written to them, has helped in their expressed dilemma - or simply a question that’s been rushing through their mind on which they needed some fresh thinking.’

Each of us comes to the best in us through a different path. Everything I do, say, write begins with my own experience of trauma - and finding out how to come through that alive and hopefully sane. So I had to give it a try - and see what would happen.

Of course at that stage they only went to a limited number of people; those who had asked for them. Now you have a chance to access them - and much new material as well.

I originally called them 'Transitions' because I realised that everything I'd been doing since the early 80s was actually designed to help others who had gone through transitions from some very difficult life experiences to a better life. If you want an expanded idea of what those things are I'd invite you to visit my website at http://www.anotherlife.com.au

Beyond those early enewsletters came the Big Jump Forward, to the day I needed some fresh thinking of my own because I was furious at the doctors who had failed to diagnose my cancer until it was almost too late to save my life. My colon was totally blocked by a cancer - and then they found it had been left so long it had gone beyond its early stages and was into my lymph nodes.

So after the surgery by a very gifted surgeon, bless him, and into chemotherapy, I wasn't moving forward. My rage at those previous doctors was holding me back. But I knew that writing down my feelings was the way to put them outside myself and free me up for the future I longed for. That was the beginning of my writing 'Cancer - a Journey' and 'After Cancer - the Journey Continues'.

For this blog I'll be posting one episode of 'Transitions', alongside current writing, at 'Courage and Cancer' each week to give you time to think, to absorb the meaning of what you’ve read - accept it - or reject it. Your choice.

And as a bonus you'll read what I've also learned beyond those early days of coping with cancer and dramas. Because cancer is a great teacher - if you let it be.

Transitions  - early October  Year 1

I’ve been thinking about you. Yes, you, my individual special friend. The person who may be searching for something a little different. Not just diverting, but something to nourish the person you are deep inside.

I want to support such special people. People who, like myself, share a world view that includes giving to others, helping them achieve their life’s desire; whether that’s in their personal or business life. And helping yourself become the you you have always wanted to be. The happy person, filled with love, of yourself, of others, of our world which needs us so much to be our highest selves.

So I’ve chosen to start offering inspiration, uplifting thoughts and ideas. Short items. Perhaps a copy of one of my ‘life poems’. Sometimes something for you to laugh at, access ideas that will set you thinking.

And today I offer you a poem I have sent around the world, for free, because these years of conflict make many afraid - and I know that, if we could just start with peace in our personal relationships, we would have peace in the world too. Every good thing expands. So here is:

‘Think of a World at Peace’

Think of a world where love is given and received in equal measure

where every parent values the selfhood of their children

and demonstrates every day their love for that child

where no hand is ever raised against another in anger

but only in kindness and blessing and to share the good and necessary things of life

Think of a world where money is valued only for the good it can do

where physical strength is prized only for its ability to build a better world

                                                                                      and protect the weak

where each person’s physical body and emotional feelings are truly respected as their own

     and never transgressed without that person’s conscious permission

where words are used to describe the thing they really belong to

     rather than to threaten or pull someone else down

Think of a world where we smile at one another

where we can look each person straight in the eye without anyone flinching

a world where joy is given out

and received as a natural sweet thing

Think of a world where no one steals from the boss

     and no one wants to

     because each worker is valued for their intrinsic worth

                 and given work to do that they can do well

Think of a world where we give and receive happily, but mostly exchange in fair measure

where every person of wisdom who has skills to help smooth out problems between people

     is given the means to spend their life doing just that

     for we are often weak and don’t know how to smooth out our own

Think of a world where colour, size, shape, hairiness or lack of hair, big feet or small,

     brown eyes or blue, just the look of a person, all these things

                 don’t matter at all

where only the smile on your lips and in your eyes, the kindness and love you express

     matters to everyone else

Think of a world where we have learned anew

     what it is to love one another

     and ourselves

This will be a world at peace.            © Beryl Shaw 25/12/1999    

   

(This poem may be distributed freely provided you add this copyright notice and my contact details for feedback: http://www.anotherlife.com.au

  

Working through the storm

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000105 EndHTML:0000011654 StartFragment:0000002545 EndFragment:0000011618

Courage and Cancer

Let me tell you a little more about my reasons for creating these Blogs:

I want to support all those people who have, or have had cancer; all those who love and wish to support them; your workmates who don't know what to do, what to say.

There will also always be ideas here for people who, like myself, share a world view that includes giving to others, helping them achieve their life’s desire; whether that’s in their personal or business life.

So I want these posts to offer inspiration, uplifting thoughts and ideas. Short items. Perhaps a copy of one of my ‘life poems’. Sometimes something for you to laugh at.

I’m sure anyone who has the ideals I’ve written about above, will find something to identify with in today’s poem.

FOR THOSE WHO KEEP WORKING  (through the storm)

 

How do you cope

when coping’s all you can do

when the job calls

and you love your job

‘though the cost is great

How do you work

when work’s what you want

your workmates want you back

smile when you’re there

tell you the inspiration you are

to them – who think they wouldn’t cope

if they were you

How do you live

when your greatest memories

are of living life to the hilt

knowing each day’s a wonder

‘cause you know this more than ever

under the threat of it

being taken away

You work by working

            when you can

You cope by coping

            each day at a time

You live with gusto

even on your bad days

because after all, today and today and today

is all any of us are granted

and work and life

are one

‘specially when you work

with people who are friends

and who love to hear you say

I love this job

I’ll cope

© Beryl Shaw 8th May 2003

 

Much love

Beryl

Beryl Shaw
'The Cancer Lady'

Do You Have the Courage?

Cancer & Courage -    2nd Step

I came home from having dinner with the half dozen friends in the Alfred Cancer Support Group (Alf for short), stepped out of my car and took a deep breath.

The night was clear and crisp. The only thought in my head was ‘Life is sweet’.

So many people ask ‘Why are we here?’. Breathing the air, thinking about the joy of just living, when the opposite had been such a possibility not all that long ago, I knew that was enough. If we were given a chance at this life simply to experience a few moments when we know life truly is sweet, that was a good enough reason.

DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE?

Do you have the courage to live?

The courage to take up the cudgels of life

Day by day

Though you feel you might fall?

Do you have the courage to live?

The courage to look life in the eye

And dare it to do its darndest to you,

challenging you to do your best?

When will you be your best?

Is it when life’s easy and full with blessings?

Or will you let life go on then

Pitter patter on the road of good things?

For life is full to overflowing

No matter the path of your choosing

But we don’t always choose

To know, to know and to grow

So when will you be your best

When the going’s tough

When it’s all up hill

And you fear to fail?

When will you do your best?

Oh, when you’re pushed to your last

breath – and pain rips through

Your heart, your soul, your will

Then you’ll be your best

Then you’ll find your courage

When life kicks you in the teeth

And you grit them

Grit them ‘til they hurt

And you cry out

‘When will I find the courage?

When will I?’

That’s when

you’ll rise to your best

Know your destiny

Find the courage to live!

                   © Beryl Shaw 27th September 2003

I always wish you love of life and the courage to live it to the full.

Beryl

Beryl Shaw
'The Cancer Lady'