Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Six Courageous poems for People with Cancer at Christmas

Here's a Bonus Gift for you from an as yet unpublished book

8th December already and Christmas is on its way. But I am looking well ahead, to March 2011, when I'll be helping doctors and other health professionals find the words to use to help us, their patients - and how to use them.

For I've been invited to give 2 x 75 minute workshops at the '12th Annual International Summit on Improving Patient Care in the Office Practice and the Community' for IHI (Institute for Healthcare Improvement).

That's in dear old Dallas, Texas. And I'm so looking forward to it.

In the meantime my heart goes out to those thousands of people coping with cancer at Christmas time, when everyone else is in joyous mode - and that can make it harder, by comparison. So I've dipped into the 5th book I wrote as I made my adventurous way beyond my initial cancer experience, to open up some of the mindset that keeps me optimistic. This is my Christmas gift to you. It's not published yet, so read 'Cancer - a Journey' and 'After Cancer - the Journey Continues' [available through my website http://www.anotherlife.com.au] to keep you going in the meantime -- and let me know if you simply can't wait to get your hands on the next three.

The title of this 5th book is : Cancer - Survive or Endure ----- and I am Surviving

IT’S JUST ANOTHER BUMP IN THE ROAD

We roll down life’s highways

byways

rivers

and streams

Slide on the ice

walk through the rain

surf across it all

for,

after cancer

you’ve learned to bounce

to fly

to step out while you can

travel the road you’re

sentenced to take

learning your strength

is better

finer

Strong

more than before

smoothing the rocks and rolls

barrelling along

Seeing panoramas

slide toward you

recognising no barrier

experience

flattening the hills

as they come

calling them only

now

just another little bump in the road.

AND NOW IT’S ALL OVER

If you’d asked me

seven years ago

could I endure –

possibly –

by any stretch of imagination –

all that time

all that ongoing wretchedness

Or that I would

never the less

come out the other side

praising God

whatever you believe this

mother-of-the-womb

to be

And know that I would love not only life itself

but indeed

my own very blessed

creative life

Would I

Could I

have known

imagined

that tonight

my life would be filled with stars

in a heavensent sky

so bright

that it lifts me up

to stand tall

yet once again

and still love ------

EPILOGUE (to ‘And now it is all over')

For this is what I have done

in the face of everything that has happened

to me and those I love

Suddenly the clouds have shifted,

drifted away.

DON’T BRING ME DOWN

They stand in their certainty

tell many – as if they knew

‘Without your health you have nothing’

Well – don’t tell me

I have no life to live

no mountains I can climb

no work or joy or love

to partake in

My experience

has not brought me to this

but is a template for others

when they choose

to hear my story

of reality

accomplishment

strength of will

A beacon for others – I am told

Incorrigible – they tell me

because I still make jokes

about cancer

and the fear that lurks around corners

waiting for unwary souls

those who have not – yet

learned

to stretch themselves

beyond the stories others would tell

who have not – yet

learned

to hold up their accomplishments

their overcoming

of that fear

and all those silly people

who say

because they know not

‘Without your health ------‘

Don’t tell me

This is the life I reside in

the light

where I shine

and trust that’s enough

to draw those to me

who live

through their pain

reach for the sky

have a life to live – and do

We have

We are

We know

the transcendence of love beyond limits

for though walking through darkness

we lift our eyes

look past the know-nothing pontificators

see our lives

our somethings

that leave the nay-sayers behind

So – Don’t try to tell me!

AND I LIVE AGAIN

How do you live after cancer?

You live like anyone else

one day at a time

or perhaps

one moment at a time

And today I have once again learned this lesson

listening to a tape on how to be invited onto television

as I’ve been before

they told me an idea

that raised for me

my own

my own next poem

own next thought

own new thinking on what I’d written

before

People talk about our need to discipline ourselves

if we are to succeed

at our chosen ‘norm’

but for the creative spirit

discipline might mean allowing

allowing myself to start something new

when the urge strikes me

lest I lose that thought

that specific idea

this particular way with words

might also mean finishing what I start

or allowing myself to not finish

but be a true creator

shifting from one job to another

as the thought strikes

my discipline may be

to not allow any original expression of me

to slip unaltered from my grasp

For me

this is life

the life I choose

the life I cannot help but live

because I live

truly live

only through my loves

I am because I write

I am because family is all – well, nearly

I am because others live also

their best lives

chosen

so they tell me

for their own reasons

I would have it no other way

Use me not as your ‘seer’

I ask

question

sift

help where I may

retreat not from my own thoughts into yours

yet retreat not from loving that you think for yourself

and do not try to be a clone of me

This is living

MORE THAN EIGHT YEARS ON

I look out at a beautiful blue sky

green tree

breeze softly blowing

and I am glad to be alive

Today

I vacuumed my whole room

the one where

I spend so much time

now

and regardless of the poverty

illness has wrought on my life

it is still a beautiful room

in a beautiful life

because I am alive to see it.

28^th November 2009

THE GIFT

To have lived the life you have

well

to be able to look back

and say

I loved as much as I was able

looked on

sometimes

at the world speeding by

Threw myself into it

when I was at my best

Lifted the view of others

through my vision for a future

the way I stretched out my arms

to possibilities

hidden

for the moment

behind troubles too dense to see through

raised their hopes for me

by my decision to live

in each day I hold onto

as if it were my last

until it is

And I go forward

with a smile on my lips

having accomplished

a life

good enough

to leave as a talisman

That is a gift beyond price

And don't you forget it!

I wish you a happy Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever you are celebrating. And here's my email address. berylshaw@netspace.net.au Write to me.

Much love

Beryl

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Struck down at Christmas?

Someone will be struck down with Cancer at this busy time of year.

Back again!

Yes, really soon after my last post I am back on the job, writing again to tide you over this busy month of December 2010.

I’m still aware that there may be many people who need to be told (by you of course) where they can find me. Especially those people - Do you know one? - who have just been diagnosed with cancer. And they'll find it even harder to cope with at this time when everyone else is going about happily, calling across the room - or the street - Happy Christmas!

And they're thinking 'Not for me it won't be.' How do they tell you? And how do you respond to them? Let me give you a few tips.

First: Don't ask them 'How are you?' They've just been diagnosed with an illness that strikes fear into the heart of the strongest - how would they be?

Do tell them 'I'm so sorry to hear you have cancer. I don't know what to say, or how to help.' In other words, be honest with them instead of pretending you know what it's like for them when you don't.

Some of you will know what it's like. And that can be a wonderful opportunity to simply say 'I've had cancer too. It's terrible isn't it.'

Whatever your personal situation, ask what they need. If they say 'Nothing' accept that as the truth; but also feel free to suggest something that would be in your power to do e.g. 'If you ever need someone to do some shopping for you -- mow your lawn -- take your children to school (or mind them while their other parent goes to visit in hospital) -- drive you to hospital if the doctor says you need chemotherapy -- anything like that'.

I do find it's a big help if you offer something concrete instead of the generic 'anything' which can cause a situation where, when they come back to you, perhaps that's for something you can't actually do, so they're let down just at the time they don't really have the strength to go the next step to get that help elsewhere.

And if you're offering, hand them a piece of paper with your name, address and phone number on it, so they won't have to look for it. Make it easy for them and they'll always remember your kindness when everyone else has been written off their contact list.

And do write down what they can type into their computer to access my posts - they can read them, from someone who has been there, without any obligation to respond. And if it's the middle of the night when they have a need just when they wouldn't want to disturb you, they can come to my blog page - and go back to bed.

If it's you who has, sadly, been diagnosed at this time, I hope you know you can come to me any time for additional non-obligation help. Email me, even phone. Others have helped me during the years of my long journey; the least I can do - and truly want to do - is pass on the gift.
Or of course there are my books 'Cancer - a Journey' and 'After Cancer - the Journey Continues' available swiftly through my website "anotherlife.com.au"

And I've been thinking about the fact that any life is too short to keep the special things for special times. So often we become overwhelmed with what we need to do. Sometimes we also believe we ‘should’ keep our very special things for some special occasion. Did your grandmother stash away her ‘good’ silver, her ‘good’ linen? This poem is a reminder that if we use the special things now, we are enriching our lives now. And we live so much finer lives when we give ourselves permission to feel special on this day, and make it special.

This is most true for someone who may have to face the possibility that this thing - this cancer - could take their life away quite soon.

I've promised myself that before the year is up I am going to take down the very old, very beautiful tea set my great grandmother used to serve afternoon or morning tea on for her best friends. I'll wash it carefully, not to damage any of the hand painted flowers - deep pink, yellow, green, so pretty - and invite a couple of my very best friends to share this treat with me. I'm going to enjoy this so much. And when my daughter inherits this lovely gift she'll know that not only some long gone person she did not know used it, but her own mother's lips drank from this fine bone china cup; took food from the platter, ate from the bread and butter plate. And pass it on to someone in the next generation. I trust they'll be wise enough to use it from time to time too. Just because they want to enrich their lives in the present.

So, before you reach the end of the year all tuckered out, give yourself a break. Stop giving yourself promises only about what you’ll do for yourself in years to come. Live now. As for the future, make ------

NO PROMISES

You’ve always known, haven’t you?

to not keep the good things

those lovely things

those wonderful, quirky things

for a special day.

Today is special

Put them on your wall,

where you can look at them

Place them on your bed,

where you will feel their soft smoothness

Have your dinner on them

Don’t waste their beauty

Or yours

Live your life today

As always, I wish you

Much love

Beryl

Happy end of year Holiday

Pre - Christmas edition

I’ve just realised that many of you will be taking a month off, starting some time during December - and wow! it is December already. So here are some thoughts to take with you.

Yesterday someone asked me, on the phone, what I’d be doing for Christmas day. I told her that, with all my children and grandchildren in other Australian States, Christmas day is pretty much a non-event for me.

She kept asking, what would I do, wouldn’t I do this or that. I told her that I prefer not to think about it too much, because it’s a day for families – and since I can’t have a ‘family Christmas’, it makes me too sad to dwell on it.

She still dwelt on it..... Until I said ‘You’re not listening to me are you?’ She’d been so busy with her version of what I should do, how I should feel, that she’d entirely ignored my plea not to have to think about what I was missing, so I wouldn’t feel too sad.

So my reminder for you is to ---- Just Listen ----- Stop trying to convince others to your way of thinking, or being - and just listen. You’ll be surprised how good a friend you’ll become.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t make up my mind which poem to send you to tide you over until I send out another newsletter. One that speaks of Christmas - Hanukka - or whatever religious or secular event you may celebrate at this time. Or one that speaks of Love.

So I’ve sent you both. Take your pick.

See you in the New Year - and don’t forget to give a book to someone who needs it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LOVE

Don’t break

Don’t kill

Don’t beat down

Love warms to love

a gentle touch heals

and receives back gentleness and love

and forever afters.

CHRISTMAS LOVE

If you don’t love for the rest of the year

but only at Christmas

It’s not love

Just a reflection of the love you see around you

Perhaps an echo of your past.

If you’re not lonely, except at Christmas

It’s not loneliness

Just a remembrance of things already gone

And envy of others you see together.

So if you can see

What is

If you can live

What may be

If you can borrow

from your sorrow

those long forgotten pangs

Pangs of love and longing

and seek the person you once were

Give to someone

who hasn’t even that remembrance

You’ll love

Again

At Christmas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

Much love

See you in January

Beryl

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

As with cancer, so it is with life.

Been a while since I posted. I've been really busy doing radio interviews into the US by phone - and setting up my 'page' on the IHI website (Institute for Healthcare Improvement), since they offered me a spot (2 in fact) to help doctors understand how they can use better words in better ways to help us; the ones with the cancer experience. Any ill health for that matter.

It's on in Dallas, Texas 20th - 22nd March 2011. Let me know if you're in the vicinity, we might meet.

How often do you, or somehow you know, say 'My doctor isn't listening to me'? Well, that's what my presentations for the '12th Annual International Summit on Improving Patient Care in the Office Practice and the Community' are about.

As it is with cancer, so it is with life. We only learn really well through experiencing what was previously unknown.

Pain and fear and suffering are excellent teachers and the lessons we can learn from them are truly wonderful.

How to endure what we cannot change, live through and beyond the pain we never thought we could live through. See that shining light on the hill as we climb towards it; only realising as we arrive that we have indeed come up from where we formerly lived.

We have captured the 'knowing'; left behind our 'not knowing'; swapped the darkness for the light. And we shall never again lose that magic moment when, standing at the top and looking behind, we realise where wisdom comes from. Wisdom, like compassion, grows as we climb.

Doing the hard work joins us with all others who also struggle - creates fellow feeling that becomes love.

Of course there are always some who reject the lesson, decide to turn instead to a path of bitterness and envy of those who seem to be having an easier life.

They lack understanding - are blind to the reality that fear and envy are their own enemies.

All negativity can only be matched by more reasons to be negative. As Christ said, 'they heap coals of fire on their own heads'.

And as Rhonda Byrne wrote in 'The Power' -" the opposite of love is not hate, but lack of love". The opposite of anything positive is the lack of the glory of that positive - the emptiness.

'I hate' is an actively destructive force; whereas 'I do not love' can be simply a statement of fact, even a peaceful realisation that we are allowed to 'not love' when that is appropriate - and to be instead self-full. An acknowledgement that sometimes we do need to withdraw any emotional investment in people who would do us harm.

Let me know what you think.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Courage - Life's sweet

Courage - Life's sweet

So many people have said to me 'Beryl, you're so courageous' 'You're inspirational' and so forth. I've learned that what they really mean is 'I don't think I could do what you are doing, if it were me going through what you've experienced'. But we do what me must. And courage is in the eye of the beholder.

I still remember the night I came home from having dinner with the half dozen friends in the Alfred Cancer Support Group (Alf for short), stepped out of my car and took a deep breath.

The night was clear and crisp. The only thought in my head was ‘Life is sweet’.

So many people ask ‘Why are we here?’. Breathing the air, thinking about the joy of just living, when the opposite had been such a possibility not long before, I knew that was enough. If we were given a chance at this life simply to experience a few moments when we know life truly is sweet, that was a good enough reason.

And today's poem reflects this.

THE COURAGE TO LIVE

I’ll have the courage to live

The hard option

The way down a track

I may not want to go

Death’s easy

if your body will only give up

and let you go

to where it isn’t any more

But it wants to live

silly old thing

and I must do

what it wants, for it has its own wisdom

So I’ll have the courage to live

And since I’m to live

I’ll make sure it’s living fully

taking all that life can give

Living it to the hilt

Loving the living,

the people I meet

and those whose bodies and minds

only touch mine over distances untold

and choose to also live, like me

With gusto, a love that won’t give in

Because life is good

Life is grand, in its sweep across the years

Tears shedding soul’s pain

Letting me – and you – live again

In the fullness of a life

Lived fully.

27^th September

And living's what it's about isn't it? The gift of life may be cherished well when we're having a good day; but it sometimes seems to me even greater when I've just come through a particularly bad one. Because that proves that I still do have the strength to just keep going and come out on the 'other side'.

Sorry I've been a bit late with this post - it's been a very busy, very trying, very satisfying time. Lots of radio interviews into the US by phone. All good fun, even when it's half past midnight, followed by another one at 6.30am. Great to be given a chance to put the message out that: The message behind all the pink of breast cancer month is -- Don't let fear put you off having yourself checked - Visit the doctor if you feel a lump, or indeed if anything else tells you there's something really wrong with your body.

We need to take back control of our own bodies. Like making sure your doctor truly listens to you - and that any x-rays or scans are checked by more than one person. Most times you'll be re-assured to find there's nothing major wrong; but if you do have cancer, the sooner you find it the greater chance you give yourself of having only minor treatment and living to a grand old age.

And If you, or anyone you know, would like copies of my books: ‘Cancer – A Journey’ or ‘After Cancer – the Journey Continues’ you may order them from my website.. I'll have them in your hands within days.

Love and kisses. Live life, don't let it slide by unnoticed.

Beryl

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Beating Cancer- Episode 2

Beating Cancer - Episode 2

It's interesting how different the responses are from different people when you 'go down with' cancer.

My dear daughter, Cath, came down from Canberra 600 kilometres away, when she knew I was in hospital for the surgery. Arriving while I was still flat on my back, not allowed to sit up for at least a week because I'd been opened up from sternum to pelvic bone.

As I said in my last post, my children have seen me endure a number of different illnesses. So Cath greeted me with 'Mum, I've worked it out'.

'What have you worked out Cath.'

'Well - when you were due to be born the angels went to God and said "We have a soul ready to be sent to earth, but there's no body to go with it". Suddenly a little angel at the back of the crowd jumped up excitedly and called out "There is one over there in the corner. It's a bit faulty ----" and before he could say another word God said 'It'll have to do!"

And then I had to try not to laugh! It was such a fantastic visual metaphor for my physical life up to that point.

On the other hand, my son Steve couldn’t get himself to say ‘the word’. He referred to it as ‘this thing’. ‘Now you’ve got this thing Mum, are you sorry you left Cockatoo?’ he asked. I’d lived in Cockatoo, up in the beautiful Dandenong Ranges, for eleven years, only moving really close to Melbourn's CBD a couple of years before the cancer struck.

That was a journey I’d consciously chosen, because I needed to be nearer to the City, for business reasons. As soon as Steve asked that question I realised what had happened. My daughter in law is a very experienced nurse educator and I know she’d told him I was going to die. And of course that was on the cards.

So I thought ‘Heavens, Steve is picturing me lying on my four seater lounge, looking out the huge glass windows at the lovely mountain ash trees, slowly dying, like someone in a tragic opera. But I responded ‘Steve, I’ve never been so glad to be close to the City. It’s enabled me to be treated at the very best hospital, close to home, no worries about travel’ – and closer to the friends who would help me.

Each of my sons and daughters have told me at different times over many years that they’ve used me as a role model, because regardless of all the problems I’ve had, they see I’ve stayed busy and involved with all sorts of causes and achieved more than anyone else they know – so they tell me. You can’t imagine how thrilled they were when my first book was published when I was 50.

One of the things that we come up against with a diagnosis of cancer, is of course the question of whether you may have to leave this world. And if you do, has the cancer won?

Can you beat cancer? Or can you find a way to beat it, whether you live or die, by finding a way to live each minute of each hour of each day so fully, that you’ve lived a lifetime of experience and growth anyway?

I’m so happy for readers such as yourselves who are prepared to explore these issues.

When you’re told you have cancer your world stops in its tracks. At least momentarily.

Here comes your big learning curve.

First you learn that Cancer is not just one illness. It’s different depending on where it is in your body, what stage it’s at, how long it’s been there, whether it’s spread to other organs. They’re all called cancer, simply because the cells are not dying off as they should.

You’ll hear Doctors and Nurses talking about ‘staging’ cancer. They’re referring to the four stages. It begins from one cell which then proliferates into a larger lump, but first of all contained in one solid mass; then it moves outside that mass and begins to create its own blood vessels – that’s really nasty of it, isn’t it? It makes sure that no matter what happens to you, it has it’s own blood supply, so it can grow as quickly as it likes – that’s stage 2; Next – stage 3, it’s moved to the lymph nodes; before stage 4, where it’s settled in some other organ and is growing there.

My surgeon thought at first that he’d got all there was – then six days later came the news ‘It’s into the lymph nodes’. So it had gone from stage 1 to stage 3 of only 4 stages. Not good news. But I'm stilll here.

And many people today are fortunate enough to receive a diagnosis at the very earliest stage. Often breast cancer is found at that point due to the routine screening we've all been encouraged to have. And that's great news.

But even then there’s the myth of unendurable pain that’s grown up around the very word – cancer. And the possibility of death somewhere down the track.

I had of course been faced with the possibility of my death coming very swiftly - and by that time I didn't care.

Yet this all points out how each person's journey through cancer is different. And very different are the ways each of us cope with it.
The day after I'd written the first poem 'Cancer - Ho Hum' that I posted last time, I heard of a friend who lives in another Australian State - some thousand or more kilometres away, who had just been diagnosed with myelosis. We shared the experience of being solo parents after a divorce and now living alone. So I knew that she would be feeling stranded, because of that situation plus the loneliness of being the person with cancer. So I sat down and wrote :

COMMUNITY OF SURVIVORS

You are not alone
The poverty of illness
the aloneness
You share with others
alone with pain

The night flows through
Happy people smiling
You are not alone Beryl
You are not alone

All about you
are others
Who are like you
alone
But not alone
with this shared experience

I am with you all
when I hear of
your pain
your long day
Like my pain
like my long day
alone

Not alone

10th September – late night

I've always been hesitant about offering my work to others who haven't asked for it, or bought one of my books. Never the less I knew of her need, so bit the bullet and sent a copy to her.

Glory of glories, a few days later I received her letter "Beryl thank you so much. Your poem was exactly what I needed right at that time"

This joyful response has now happened to me so many times when I've gathered up my courage and risked being wrong, but finding I was right to make the offering, that I've become quite brave about doing that.

I hope someone reading this today will find it's 'just the right thing, at the right time'.

See you same time, same place, next week.

Many blessings to all

Beryl

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Beating Cancer

Cancer is a nasty, sneaky, frightening, sometimes painful illness to have – and you won’t hear me say anything different.

But you also won’t hear me say there’s nothing you can do about it. Because life is for living – fully – but one day at a time. And one day lived well can easily eclipse a year of living without taking notice, of who you are, who loves you, what you can do in this wonderful world of ours.

My personal journey through cancer began on a mild bright day, Tuesday 16th July 2001.

At 9.45am I performed a funeral ceremony. I can always ‘do the job’, no matter how ill I am – and I was very ill. I’d been in the emergency department at Monash Medical Centre in Melbourne since the early hours of the morning, with a ‘mass’ in my abdomen – yet they were in no hurry to check it out. Although I’d arrived in an ambulance, they transferred me into a wheel chair and sat me, right next to the front door which was opening and closing on the cold night air, without so much as another glance my way.

I had a commitment to perform this funeral service – and I’d been trying to reach the funeral director. Wouldn't you know that would be the only time he'd turned his mobile phone off to get some much needed rest. I'd hoped that he or someone else could pick up my paper work and do the service for me. But no luck.

So around 8am, after 3 or 4 hours sitting there in pain, I signed myself out – went home, dressed, put some make up on and did what I had to do.

A few months later I was speaking to the woman whose husband I’d buried that day and she was astounded to find out what dire straits I’d been in. I’d looked fine, as I always do until I’m right at death’s door. But while I’m able to put one foot in front of the other I do what I must and allow myself to collapse later.

On the way back from the service, I phoned my GPs surgery on my mobile and asked to see her urgently. She knew by now that I wasn’t one to panic, so she fitted me in. By 5pm, after a CT scan and a visit to a previously seen gastroenterologist, I had a diagnosis of cancer totally blocking my bowel. Wheeled into an ambulance – again , my car left behind in the street, I was on the way to life-saving emergency surgery.

The surgeon, on his second visit to the ward the following morning, while we waited and waited until an operating theatre was available, seemed concerned that perhaps I didn’t understand that what I had was cancer. Perhaps I didn’t seem worried enough? But I’d been ill for 12 or 18 months already. I wasn’t surprised at the diagnosis. And being so sick I could very plainly see the writing on the wall, feeling my body shutting down.

Most doctors aren’t all that used to their patients calling a spade a blooming shovel, so I was quite impressed that my surgeon only minimally reacted when, under such duress, I didn’t hold myself in check, but replied “At this point I don’t give a s--t what it is. I just want it out!’

Later, he was to say to me ‘Beryl, I can’t guarantee you’ll come off the operating table alive’. But you know, by that time I didn’t care. I couldn’t even raise any concern over leaving my five adult children and six grandchildren – and that was quite amazing, because I’ve always been the original ‘Earth Mother’.

But one thing I clearly remember from that first few days is thinking ‘I know how to do this’. My life has been one of great difficulty across many fronts, including the experience of several chronic illnesses, starting with juvenile arthritis at the age of 12.

So I have worked out what to do when faced with adversity. And I’ve learned a lot more during the past 20 years of helping others work through their own disasters.
My four children too, growing up with a mother who’s had several illnesses and operations, have developed their own ways of dealing with this.

So 'do it' I did. And today I'll give you the very first 'cancer poem' from that time, which is in my book 'Cancer - a Journey' (available through my website www.anotherlife.com.au).

Read the next instalment - what happened next - next week.

CANCER? HO HUM

Cancer? Hmmph!
What makes it think it can get at me
With its eating ways
Chomping on my bones
Or flesh, or sinews, or brain?

And that’s the thing, isn’t it?
The brain’s the thing
that plays the game
The thinking,
if you don’t watch out

Call it ‘The Big C’
And the game’s on
As if it can be bigger than I

But cancer –
Well now, that’s another thing
Cancer is a little thing
A thing that needs to eat
From others
Lest it die

And I’m going to make it die

10th September - early

Much love Beryl

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Using your Transitions in life

Transitions - The Beginning

These blogs began even before I had cancer, as a series of enewsletters to reach out to others who could use the lessons I've learned as I've explored ideas - ways to make connections with others who might like what I like, want to move forward as I want to move forward.

Over the course of several years I’d met many such people. At conferences, seminars, workshops. Some presented by me, some by others. And in social or chance encounters.

I’d noticed a theme running through the conversations we’d had. A desire to live a fulfilled life. Generated by new ideas. Ideas capable of reflection, capable of something new, something nourishing to the mind, heart and spirit of each.

My mind is an ‘ideas generator’. It was telling me ‘Beryl, you have something to say. People often tell you that something which you’ve said to them, or written to them, has helped in their expressed dilemma - or simply a question that’s been rushing through their mind on which they needed some fresh thinking.’

Each of us comes to the best in us through a different path. Everything I do, say, write begins with my own experience of trauma - and finding out how to come through that alive and hopefully sane. So I had to give it a try - and see what would happen.

Of course at that stage they only went to a limited number of people; those who had asked for them. Now you have a chance to access them - and much new material as well.

I originally called them 'Transitions' because I realised that everything I'd been doing since the early 80s was actually designed to help others who had gone through transitions from some very difficult life experiences to a better life. If you want an expanded idea of what those things are I'd invite you to visit my website at http://www.anotherlife.com.au

Beyond those early enewsletters came the Big Jump Forward, to the day I needed some fresh thinking of my own because I was furious at the doctors who had failed to diagnose my cancer until it was almost too late to save my life. My colon was totally blocked by a cancer - and then they found it had been left so long it had gone beyond its early stages and was into my lymph nodes.

So after the surgery by a very gifted surgeon, bless him, and into chemotherapy, I wasn't moving forward. My rage at those previous doctors was holding me back. But I knew that writing down my feelings was the way to put them outside myself and free me up for the future I longed for. That was the beginning of my writing 'Cancer - a Journey' and 'After Cancer - the Journey Continues'.

For this blog I'll be posting one episode of 'Transitions', alongside current writing, at 'Courage and Cancer' each week to give you time to think, to absorb the meaning of what you’ve read - accept it - or reject it. Your choice.

And as a bonus you'll read what I've also learned beyond those early days of coping with cancer and dramas. Because cancer is a great teacher - if you let it be.

Transitions - early October Year 1

I’ve been thinking about you. Yes, you, my individual special friend. The person who may be searching for something a little different. Not just diverting, but something to nourish the person you are deep inside.

I want to support such special people. People who, like myself, share a world view that includes giving to others, helping them achieve their life’s desire; whether that’s in their personal or business life. And helping yourself become the you you have always wanted to be. The happy person, filled with love, of yourself, of others, of our world which needs us so much to be our highest selves.

So I’ve chosen to start offering inspiration, uplifting thoughts and ideas. Short items. Perhaps a copy of one of my ‘life poems’. Sometimes something for you to laugh at, access ideas that will set you thinking.

And today I offer you a poem I have sent around the world, for free, because these years of conflict make many afraid - and I know that, if we could just start with peace in our personal relationships, we would have peace in the world too. Every good thing expands. So here is:

‘Think of a World at Peace’

Think of a world where love is given and received in equal measure

where every parent values the selfhood of their children

and demonstrates every day their love for that child

where no hand is ever raised against another in anger

but only in kindness and blessing and to share the good and necessary things of life

Think of a world where money is valued only for the good it can do

where physical strength is prized only for its ability to build a better world

and protect the weak

where each person’s physical body and emotional feelings are truly respected as their own

and never transgressed without that person’s conscious permission

where words are used to describe the thing they really belong to

rather than to threaten or pull someone else down

Think of a world where we smile at one another

where we can look each person straight in the eye without anyone flinching

a world where joy is given out

and received as a natural sweet thing

Think of a world where no one steals from the boss

and no one wants to

because each worker is valued for their intrinsic worth

and given work to do that they can do well

Think of a world where we give and receive happily, but mostly exchange in fair measure

where every person of wisdom who has skills to help smooth out problems between people

is given the means to spend their life doing just that

for we are often weak and don’t know how to smooth out our own

Think of a world where colour, size, shape, hairiness or lack of hair, big feet or small,

brown eyes or blue, just the look of a person, all these things

don’t matter at all

where only the smile on your lips and in your eyes, the kindness and love you express

matters to everyone else

Think of a world where we have learned anew

what it is to love one another

and ourselves

(This poem may be distributed freely provided you add this copyright notice and my contact details for feedback: http://www.anotherlife.com.au